Have you heard about the ‘lover boy’ technique of trafficking, where traffickers use false promises of ‘love’ as a weapon to lure and manipulate?

‘Lover boys’ are human traffickers who usually operate by trying to make young people fall in love with them. Once they have victims under their influence, they exploit them, for instance in the sex industry or for other illegal activities. They are often kept in this situation through coercive control including through a combination of affection, violence and/or other threats against them and their families.

This pernicious scheme is very complex and dynamic, taking place in a wide variety of contexts, that’s why awareness is so important. The animation will help you to better understand how the lover boy trafficking operates, as well as some of the early warning signs of this type of crime.

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Early warning signs to look out for:

1. He seems to have a lot of money, but you don’t really know how he earns it, or what he does for work?
2. He does not want you to work because he wants to “take care of you”.
3. He doesn’t like your family/friends. He complains when you speak to or spend time with them.
4. He complains about the way you dress and tells you how to dress.
5. He always wants to know exactly where you are and what you are doing. He will track what you are doing, check your personal messages/interactions on social media, message or call you constantly when you are not with him and get angry if you do not reply.
6. He has acted violently or threatened to hurt you, or someone else in any way.
7. He has encouraged or forced you to use drugs.
8. He is jealous or possessive. He complains about how you act in public or who you talk to.
9. He has tried to take some of your things (phone, identity documents, bank cards).
10. He has convinced you to take out a loan, credit card or phone bill in your name, but he uses it.
11. He has forced you to do sexual things that you don’t want to do.
12. He has asked you to have sex with someone else for money.

A lot of these things could be signs of intimate partner violence, but a key difference is the exploitation. This could be where he asks, coerces or forces you to have sex with someone else for money, and then takes some or all of that money.

Once the lover-boy trafficker and the victim are romantically involved, he will invite her on a getaway trip. Sometimes he will ask her to move away from home, or even to a foreign country.

Think things over before travelling anywhere with him.

If you still want to travel or move with him, use this pre-travel checklist to make sure you are loving with your eyes open.

1. ☐I have a valid entry right, visa or permit for that country (If I am going there for a job, I have a valid work permit).
2. ☐I know, and I have memorized, the emergency contact number for help in the country I am travelling to, and any countries I am transiting through.
3. ☐I have informed at least one trusted person (other than my boyfriend or his friends) about my travel (including who I am travelling with, where I am going, my travel route, my accommodation address, workplace and any other details I have).
4. ☐I have a secret “safeword” or phrase that I have given to my trusted person(s). If I use this phrase later, then they know that I am in trouble.
5. ☐I have memorized the telephone number of at least one (preferably more than one) trusted person.
6. ☐I have enough information about:

• Who I may be travelling with
• The route I will take
• The address I will be staying
• My workplace (if I will be working)

7. ☐I have enough money to return earlier if I need to.
8. ☐I have a credit card I can use for emergencies.
9. ☐I have a copy of my travel documents with me.
10. ☐I have a phone that I can use internationally, and I have enough credit.
11. ☐I know and can speak key phrases in the country’s national language.
12. ☐I have travel insurance and a photocopy of this insurance.

IOM Romania takes a comprehensive approach to addressing human trafficking. Respect for human rights, the physical, mental and social well-being of the individual and his or her community, and the sustainability of our actions through institutional capacity development and partnerships are at the centre of all of IOM’s counter-trafficking efforts. 

In cooperation with government institutions, international and non-governmental organisations, IOM Romania has been working in the area of counter-trafficking issue since the mid-1990s, providing holistic victim support and protection, including counselling, assistance and referrals, and case management.

If you have any concerns about your relationship, you can take the quiz on our partner liberatED’s website to identify potential warning signs: www.liberated.global/lover-boy-quiz. Some of the warning signs of lover-boy are similar to those that may present in relationships that might be unhealthy or have characteristics of intimate partner violence. In trafficking however, there is the element of exploitation.

Please note that help is available and that you will be taken seriously and will be provided with all the support you need.

In any urgent situation please contact police – in Romania (much of Europe this is 112).

Other contacts in Romania

THE COUNTRY WHERE YOU RESIDE SHOULD HAVE SERVICES AVAILABLE TO HELP YOU IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN SUCH A SITUATION. SOME OF THE AVAILABLE OPTIONS INCLUDE:

1. Call the police in the country where you reside. Some countries even have specialized services for situations like yours. In Romania, you can contact the National Agency Against Trafficking in Human Persons (ANITP) by calling the Telverde hotline: 0800 800 678. If you are abroad, you can reach ANITP at 004 021 313 31 00.
2. There are several NGOs that can provide you with specialized assistance in situations like yours:

o ADPARE - +40 021 253 29 04

o ARIA 45 - +40 767 05 55 55 02

o PEOPLE TO PEOPLE - +40 359 41 17 17 00

o You can contact us and we will put you in touch with someone who can help you.

ARE YOU HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

If you'd like to discuss your concerns, you can contact:

Casa Blu Counseling Center: 0787 54 18 54